1. What do Roy Moore and an e-book have in common?

They're both pdf files.

2. I'm surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in numbers had never bothered him before. 

3. What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer? Anti-vaxxers are against sticking it in kids. 

4. Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn't related to any of 'em. 

5. I sure hope Roy Moore wins today...

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

6. Why was Roy Moore waiting outside the liquor store when it opened?

He heard they had a 14-year-old Brandy.

7. To help cope with his loss Roy Moore ordered a 12-year-old whiskey

But she didn't like the taste. 

8. Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the Senate...

They'll be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.